everything is lit [s]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 3, 2023 2:21:11 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
Part of the truce with meant that she had to make peace with the other people she’d wronged. Well, not all of them. There were still the likes of Landon Cassidy and the guy who’d bonked her from the cargo raid and, like, other people that the next time she saw she was going to rip their fucking throats out with her teeth.

But this apology was part of the healing process. For both of them. Especially if they were going to still be doing that big bank heist, at some point.

So she knocks on the apartment door, leaning on the cane had loaned her; her Raichu stands next to her, holding an absolutely fucking massive pizza in his stubby arms.

She is anxious to be done with this and not for the reason everyone thinks. She'd been a total bitch to Ash for no reason except her own self-loathing and she'd wanted to apologize in person.


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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 7, 2023 0:26:42 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

There's a knock on the door, and being that the kitchen to the apartment is right near the front door, Ashley makes his way over, having been making some treats for his partner when he came back. Moving to open the door, he peeks through, and sees-[break][break]

Ah.[break][break]

Sunshine.[break][break]

There's a small smile, as he opens it, and speaks immediately, the smell of baked goods inside of the home. Little chocolate fudge treats for the duo, made in tiny little heart shapes on the counter. "Hey, Sunshine. Glad to see you're still kicking."[break][break]

That doesn't forgive what had happened the day previous, but Ashley was a good enough person to be able to take it in stride. He'd never hold it over Cygne's head.[break][break]

"Come on in. Partner is out currently. Grocery run. Whole place is to myself. Well, myself and-" A tiny Pikachu peered out from Ashley's sweater, and sees the Raichu. Little Ana squees with a high pitch cry, hopping onto the nearby table, and waves to the duo. Ana was happy to see new people!



[break][break]

NOTES


- MISSION[break]
- Invites Cygne in, happy to see her. Ana greets her and the Raichu with pizza.[break]
- He's been baking!






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 7, 2023 1:46:20 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
Ash cracks the door and gives her a small smile, one Cyg returns a thousandfold. “Eh, not for lack of trying,” she says, hand twisting nervously on the cane handle, raw against the callouses that were forming from using it.

He opened the door for them and Cyg waved Kickback through so he could put part A of her peace offering on the coffee table. He gave Ana a small, shy wave, much more subdued than she was, and lacking her exuberance.

Cyg followed in her Raichu’s wake, though she barely makes it through the door before she swaps the cane to her other hand, lets it fall against the wall, and throws her arms around Ash’s shoulders in a hug.

“I’m sorry.”



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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 12, 2023 0:05:22 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

The hug catches Ashley off guard, as once Cygne gets the chance to, she does so, and the apology baffles him. Still, with a big smile, hugging back, he shakes his head best he can.[break][break]

"Don't need to apologize, Sunshine. I know what it's like."[break][break]

Isaac's eye was the victim the last time. This time, it was something less permanent. Ashley could walk off emotional and verbal abuse. He had Theo as a mentor, and somehow came out the other side more than most. That had to say something about him.[break][break]

It was still nice to hear the apology.[break][break]

Attempting to pull from the hug now, he winces at a slight bit of pain still in his chest. Rib was still healing. He still felt pain. "Let's sit down and catch up. Kep has me on house arrest for the whole week." He's chuckling a bit, but as he gestures towards the couch, he sits, his Pikachu hopping across the back, and now laying on Ashley's shoulders with a happy squeak.[break][break]

"So... what happened after I left?"



[break][break]

NOTES


- Hugs Cygne, and slight pain. Offers her a spot on the couch to talk while Kep is gone.[break]
- Explains his house arrests, and asks Cygne what happened after he left.[break]
- Ana gets a warm spot on Ashley's shoulders.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 12, 2023 1:27:51 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
She lets Ash shift away from her and it’s funny, kind of, how the two of them grimace in pain at the same moment.

“No, I do have to apologize,” Cyg said, reaching down to press a hand over her bullet wound, “I was super shitty to you. You’re Isaac’s best friend and all I could think about was how fucking jealous I was of that.” She exhales long and evenly, because it hurts to breathe, still. “I thought that going off and throwing myself into the line of fire would, I don’t know, somehow make me more valid. Like I could mean more to him. It was fucking stupid. Absolutely abysmal.”

She grabs the cane again and hobble-walks around to flop down on the couch, then uses the end of it to flip open the pizza box.

“I fucking wandered off until I collapsed again and yet another fucking stranger endeared to Isaac stopped to help me.” She snorts and rolls her eyes, leaning back against the arm of the couch. “Then I made it back to camp and we set out to look for you. But you’d already made it back, I take it?”




[attr="class","mitcheltag"]
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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 12, 2023 1:52:09 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Cygne does need to apologize. Even if Ash says she doesn't, its necessary for her. Ash drops it and lets her let it all out. He's quiet the whole way through, hands at his side, as Ana quietly rubs into his shoulders, like a little electric warmer of a Pikachu. The entire time, his expression changes from sheepish, to uncertainty, and lopp over to silent confidence.[break][break]

With a calculated sigh, he brushes a hand through his hair, and speaks. "Sunshine. We're best friends. Sure. But so are you to me. No matter what he and I have, we're just homies. We went through a haunted house, a sea of Carvanha, Mt. Pyre, and the Ultra Sea. Not to mention, the Borders. Twice." Ashley smiles, and leans forward.[break][break]

"Don't even know what adventures you two went on... but your bond with him isn't that. It's more. Isn't it?"[break][break]

That name. Kiryu. The name stings worse than a Beedrill in early spring. Wincing at the thought, he honestly leaned back.[break][break]

Her question has him recite his breathing exercises. Four in. Eight hold. Seven out. He's calm. "Eris fixed me up a bit. I got a message to my boyfriend. I tried looking for both of you, but when I went back for you, you were gone. As you said... you got out. He's a special guy. You know?"[break][break]

He smiles. "Then, realizing that you and Isaac weren't on the casualty list, I took that as affirmation." He turns his eyes down and relives the memory and strife of the Ultra Sea. "Needed to be alone. Jelly and Bass didn't make it. Still haven't processed my father either."



[break][break]

NOTES


- Tries to affirm Cygne's relationship to Isaac will always be stronger than his to Isaac's.[break]
- Happy to hear she got out of it all. Explains what happened his side.[break]
- Tells Cygne he needed to be alone with all the trauma of late. Still hadn't sunk in yet.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON May 12, 2023 15:56:58 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
Cyg waves a dismissive hand. "Yeah, yeah, forged in the fire of battle and blood, I fucking get it. It doesn't matter. Your only connection could be a one-night hookup in a back alley and it still doesn't excuse the fact that I was self-destructive and horribly jealous."

She shrugs noncommittally when he talks about their bond. "I guess. I-- yeah. Sure." She didn't come over here to dissect her and Isaac's relationship. She came over here to apologize to Ash and make sure he was okay.

Kickback helps himself to a piece of pizza and Cyg does the same.

"I'm sorry for your losses. I still haven't processed mine really either and I'm sure that will come back to bite me in the a-- wait, what?" She pauses, mid bite. "Your-- father?"

Clearly not in the loop.



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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jun 3, 2023 6:44:14 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Ana is eating pizza too, taking full advantage as she folds a slice like a Unovan, and eats it slowly. That Pikachu was getting so chubby, but Ashley wasn't gonna stop that. It almost feels right, and as Ashley rubs his neck, he realizes how... yeah, Cygne was being that. But he can understand.[break][break]

Both had lost a lot in Ultra Sea. Rocket won, but at what cost? It burns knowing he lost more than he ever wanted to.[break][break]

Then the father bit comes out. "Yeah... my father. I was adopted since my birth mom put me up... turns out, he tried to overdose her when pregnant, and well. Found out recently. Hunted him down." He recites it with this cold, blank expression. One he doesn't wear often. The caring man underneath it was not the same, it was something darker, and bleaker. Like he was capable of it, and he'd do it again. Psychopathic, almost.[break][break]

Then the shine comes back to his silver eyes, and he sighs.[break][break]

"I... regret it now."[break][break]

He did. He could never take it back. Ever.[break][break]

"That's that though... you spoke of them in the cave we were in. Who did you lose?" Ashley wanted to know the stories about them. A quiet smile returning to his persona. Hope and sunshine returning.



[break][break]

NOTES


- Ashley going through therapy steps and talks about his birth father. Oh naur.[break]
- He looks almost psychopathic in how he hunted his dad down, but that shine comes back...[break]
- Once again, Ashley wants to know about who Cygne lost. He's curious.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jun 16, 2023 21:36:34 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
Cyg’s face falls from a canted up expression of confusion into something crumbled in horror. “Arceus, Ash,” she says, and she doesn’t let her gaze drop; instead, she looks him dead in the eye, blue to silver, hard and intent and present.

I see you, it says, I see through your mask, and it doesn’t scare me.

“Why? It sounds to me like he deserved it.” And she takes a bite of her pizza slice to illustrate she doesn’t let this newfound fact about him turn her stomach. But then he mentions those she’d left behind and her mouth slows. She forces herself to swallow.

“Feldspar first,” she says, and her voice is quiet and wavery, fragile like a frayed thread. killed him. Then… Twilight. He got shot by that bastard Cassidy, so. There’s another kiss next to his name, for me.” Another mark she owes him, return to sender, paid in full. “Then Dedric, my Munchlax, who…” she swallows hard, voice cracking like skein on a macaron, “...so stupid, of me, my stupid fault--,”

And she’s crying, now, food discarded back in the box, knees pulling up to her chest as she buries her face between them and tries to get her breathing under control.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…”



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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jun 17, 2023 2:17:36 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Yeah. It was pretty bad. But as he rubs the back of his neck, he gives a sigh. "Yeah... he did. I should feel gratification for the deed. But. Nah. Just nothing."[break][break]

It's a case where, he got exactly what he wished for. And it blew up in his face in a painful way. He hates it. Fuck, he hates it. Because it domino'd into everything else in his life. It affected his relationship to Kep. It made him okay with killing. He became worse because of his father.[break][break]

Revenge was overrated.[break][break]

So, as Cygne begins to talk about her Pokemon, he hears each. Feldspar. Died by some guy he doesn't know. Twilight. Cassidy, and his lips turn to a frown. Dedric... a little Munchlax. And so, Ashley does as he always does. As he learned from . A hug.[break][break]

Positivity can reverberate in beautiful ways.[break][break]

"It's not your fault. Once you start blaming yourself for the deaths you can't control... it's difficult to get back up that slope."[break][break]

Mt. Pyre was his. It's where he took Isaac's eye as recompense for that. And he hated himself for it every day. A mistake he would always, always, always pay for.[break][break]

"Isaac got me out of it. That... slope. He pulled my ass screaming, so when I saw you in such a bad way, I... wanted to try and do the same."[break][break]

Lot of good that did.[break][break]

Look where they are now.



[break][break]

NOTES


- He tells Cyg how empty he feels after his dad's death. How fucked up it is.[break]
- Hears about Feldspar, Twilight, and Dedric. And sees her making the mistake he did.[break]
- Tries to tell her blaming herself is a slippery slope, and that Isaac saved him. So he wanted to do the same in Ultra Sea.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jun 21, 2023 17:02:44 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
There’s a dip in the cushions of the couch and before Cyg can react she’s being pulled into Ash’s arms, head coming up in shock just for her face to be buried against his shoulder.

A thousand thinks wrack her brain, the click-click-click of a six-gun chamber spinning on its axis: she’s pathetic, she’s weak, she’s going to get tears and, yeah, probably snot, too, smeared all over him.

But it’s nice.

“But it is my fault,” she says, turning her head so she can speak, unwilling to release the grip she has on herself, so she shifts her shoulders, instead, to sit more neatly against his chest, “it is my fault. I threw him to the fucking wolves, Ash.”

He’d made the more horrendous squeaking noise when he died, like a chew toy.

She exhales a shuddery gasp that makes her ribs hurt.

“You tried. I wasn’t appreciative of it then. But I am now. Thank you. I’m sorry.”

At the mention of Isaac, her chapped lips split into something resembling a smile.

“I-- he’s already shouldered so much, for me. Any more and I’m worried… I’m going to drag him down with me.” Something between a squeak of pain and a laugh escapes her, and she unconsciously nestles closer into him, head rolling back to look up at the ceiling, the contortion of her body making her abused midsection throb and pull against stitches and cautery marks.

“You ever feel-- you ever feel like you don’t deserve him?”




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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jun 30, 2023 16:49:12 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Ashley knows those words all too well. Fault. Blame. The blame game. He played it so many times. Hell, he still dabbled, and what with Bass and Jelly's deaths on his mind so freshly cut in with the edge of a recently sharpened blade, he knows it. It's his fault. He let them fight against two targets that were far stronger than Ashley was.[break][break]

"I know."[break][break]

He starts, and he can feel the prick of tears on his own eyes, with the words coming out like second nature.[break][break]

"It is our faults. That's always going to weigh on us. You know?" He tries his best to hold onto his heart, and he grips harder. Confession time. "It will always be there. At the back of our minds. It doesn't leave; the shadow that looms over us. But we can't let it consume us."[break][break]

It's sobering though. It really is, knowing someone else goes through it. Makes it all feel less alone. Less by himself. So Ashley can't help but sigh.[break][break]

It's her words with Isaac, that has him the most confident of them all. If she was even worthy to deserve him, and Ashley shrugs.[break][break]

"I could tell you yes or no. But you know. Last time I spoke for him, he yelled at me." It was sometime early in the Ultra Sea. When he and Isaac had been handling a cargo hit. And when they tried to attack Isaac, tried to play the hero and take the evil Rocket down. And...[break][break]

Ashley took a life.[break][break]

It's haunting. Knowing that somewhere on the other side, in the Border... another soul might want to take revenge on him and take Kepler from him. It's a regret that can, and will, bear down on him for the rest of his life. He feels his lip tremble.[break][break]

"I don't sometimes. I think he's too good for this hellhole called Rocket. I think he's too good to be my friend. But that's not for me to decide. He'd would have choice words for me if he heard me say that." It's not easy advise at all, but as he rubs the back of his head, he figures its the right way.[break][break]

"Be deserving of him in your own way. That's something that I know he'd be happy to hear."



[break][break]

NOTES


- Ash who went through it, tells Cygne it is their faults, and that the shadow will always loom over them. All they can do is not let it consume them.[break]
- He doesn't want to speak for Isaac. Last time he did, he took a life and Isaac scolded him.[break]
-- He doesn't feel deserving, but he knows Isaac would want them to feel deserving their way. A sweet sentiment.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

Ceej

a. z. fell
She/Her
30
December 21st
Fortree, Hoenn
Bisexual
Surviving
Civillian
we could
have been us
5'8" / 172 cm height
5'8" / 172 cm height
i'm just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.
awards
1,436 posts
ana fell DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cygne
ana fell
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jul 5, 2023 16:49:04 GMT
ana fell Avatar
[attr="class","mitchel"]
[attr="class","mitchelpoke"]
He was right. This was just another hurt, something she was going to have to carry forever. Compartmentalize it and fold it away. Ignore it like she ignored every other bad thing, until the anxiety built too high and toppled over on her.

She swallowed, throat dry.

“Yeah,” she said, as Ash explained that wasn’t, necessarily, too good for them, but was better than Rocket as a concept, as a whole. And that everything was, of course, Isaac’s choice. She released another shaky breath. “Yeah. God, that’s so hard for me to-- grasp. I’m such a domineering bitch, I guess. He’s a big boy and he can make his own decisions.” She scrubs a hand over her eye, wiping raw skin and tears.

A watery smile crawls across her face, even while her stomach lurches.

“I… think you and I both know what we have to do to… do that. But. Will we?” A half-manic snicker escapes her. She’s still laying on Ash. “Find out next week. Same bat time, same bat channel.”



[attr="class","mitcheltag"]
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played by

Kiwi

Ash
He/Him/Them
26
December 2
Aspertia City, Unova
Pansexual
Picking up the pieces
--
But I, I will, go on howling and hollow
awards
1,109 posts
part of
TAG WITH @ashley
Ashley Shepard
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jul 6, 2023 21:40:52 GMT
Ashley Shepard Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","ashley1"]
[attr="class","ashley1body"]

It was difficult to grapple with. For both of them, really. How could it not be? This guy they both knew, great as he was, didn't need them. That was the worst part. To some degree, it almost felt like dragging him back. Pulling him back down the path he was trying to escape from. It's killer.[break][break]

Seeing her watery smile finally gets a smile in return, mirrored back as he nods. Yeah. He knows what needs to be done. To some degree. He wonders, if he's even able to pull that off, with another mission so close now...[break][break]

He shrugs.[break][break]

"Whose to say? The only ones who can do it are the two of us." Bittersweet as it sounds, Ashley watches Ana push her way inbetween them both, intent to get into this hug and lovefest, and to benefit. And she was a great emotional support Pikachu too.[break][break]

"Hey there, Ana." He ruffles her fur, only to look back to Cygne. "I hope today helped." He gives a sigh, content that maybe, he made a small difference and helped brighten her day. He really did.



[break][break]

NOTES


- As Ash hopes that things will get better, Ana the Pikachu pushes her way between them, intent to get some of the love, and help where she can.[break]
- Ash just hopes that this helped Sunshine. And that she can smile again.






[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]





[attr="class","ashley1credit"]
MADE BY GUNSMILE




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played by

SHIV

GONGAGER
he/him
25
October 13
GONGAGA
gongaga-romantic
gongager
gongago
me?
gongaga
808 height
808 height
WHERE ARE UNOVA REMAKES
awards
41,473 posts
shiv DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @shiv
shiv
everything is lit [s]
POSTED ON Jul 10, 2023 5:44:51 GMT
shiv Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","TRAINER"]
[attr="class","omaccepted"]
[attr="class","omacceptedtop"]MISSION COMPLETE!

[attr="class","omacceptedmid"]

YOU RECEIVE THE REWARDS BELOW:[break]


[attr="class","omacceptedlinks"]
[attr="class","omacceptedlinks1"]TAGS:
img
The Shula Region
Hogwarts AU
RPG Unlimited
MR
The Enroi Region
N:FB
Vyrehaven
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
EO GENESIS
Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
Swords Clashing